Apostrophe Catastrophe

I am totally pissed about grammar, or to be more precise, the general lack of proper usage. I will return to this very important theme from time to time, but today I must rant and rave about the poor desecrated apostrophe. As all strong feelings are best expressed in poetry, may I present:                                            
The Apostrophe Catastrophe
Oh woe is me,
the poor apostrophe!
The employment agreement
that I signed
with Strunk and White*
is totally maligned.
Possessives or contractions
Are how I am to be used.
But oh, how often I am abused!
When one desires something fancy
They stick me in to enhance-y.
Please note: It is just not allowed!
To proper usage you absolutely must bow!
                                                                                                                                                                                 
*These are the authors of a grammar book.                                                                                                          
© 2008 Margery Leveen Sher